I Did the Privilege Walk and it Changed Everything

In 2019, I was honored to be selected to be in the Emerge Louisiana class. Emerge Louisiana is a program to train Democratic women to run for office. The group of women selected were picked from across the state and weirdly I was also selected to be in the group. I was so excited, a little overwhelmed but, the first day of class the imposter syndrome settled deep and heavy in the pit of my stomach.

These women were amazing. They were lawyers, two of which are now Judges, they were long time advocates and activists, and successful businesswomen. Women that were teachers and directors of big and important things. And then there was me. I felt like wait a minute, how in the actual hell did I get picked for this class.

The first day of the first weekend of class was centered around race and diversity and inclusion. Do you see where I’m going with this? Now I’m really feeling like I’m about to get into a debate about who I am. 

The Privilege Walk

We are having this incredible discussion led by one of the most fearless women I’ve met, Raegan Carter, and she says, “okay everybody we’re going to go downstairs and do a privilege walk”. Umm what? We are? Yes, we are.

It was a cold, gray January day it was windy, and I was freezing. All 22 of us went outside and stood shoulder to shoulder on a line in the parking lot. Remember that we had all just met that day and didn’t really know each other. We stood there and listened to the instructions, that for each question that would be asked you would either take a step or two forward or stay where you are.

I had no idea where I was going to end up but based on the introductions that morning I wasn’t really expecting to be anywhere near the front. I thought maybe I’ll be right in the middle. That’s about right and I’m comfortable in the middle. That’s definitely where I belong.

The questions start being asked, “Did you graduate from high school?”, “Did you live in a two-parent home?” and I’m stepping it right on up and feeling like oh yeah, I’m definitely going to be in the middle. Then as more and more questions are asked, I’m not taking any steps forward. Questions about degrees, trauma, divorce and I’m still standing still.

When the last question is asked and all the steps have been taken, we were instructed to turn around and look where everyone was. My best friend was also in this class with me, she’s basically my life jacket and one of the greatest blessings of my life, so I’m super relieved to be going through this journey with her. But she was so far away.

I was second to last.

Some people seemed to be a mile ahead of me although we were just in a parking lot. I smiled and looked around because I had no idea how I was actually feeling. I’m not real sure what was being said because I was so far back, I couldn’t hear. I looked around and realized that no ma’am you are not in the middle. 

Everyone started to move towards the doors to go back inside and upstairs to the 2^nd floor for lunch. I walked slowly; my mind was moving in a million different directions. Understanding and ideas and realizations coming at me at a thousand miles per hour. 

By the time I got upstairs from the privilege walk almost everyone except for those of us that had to wait for the elevator to come back was already eating lunch. I fixed my plate and sat down to hurry up and eat before we started the next session. All of a sudden one of the other women said “Oh my God, that’s privilege! Those of us that were in front and closest to the building got to get inside and warm up first, we were in the elevator first, we got to eat first and had longer to eat.” 

We then discussed what we learned and what we thought. My idea of perception had changed dramatically. I understood why mean and hurtful things had been said to me at different and pivotal moments in my life. It was because of the perception of who I was. Not who I actually am.

It Changed My Life

That privilege walk changed my life. I had to not only change the perception of myself but get rid of the idea that everyone knew my story. I now feel compelled and obligated to tell my story, all of the ugly parts mixed in with the pretty parts. I always thought my story was just about my culture and identity but it’s about so much more. It’s about the experiences that I’ve had and didn’t have that make me who I am. And all of that is enough and all of that is okay because it’s my identity, it’s my roux. 

You have to take a moment and remove yourself from YOUR reality sometimes and change your perception about who you are and what you are capable of. I felt like I didn’t belong with that group of women, I felt small and insignificant until I realized that I was CAPABLE of doing whatever it was I decided I wanted to do. My trauma, my losses, my times of being hungry, without money and without support created a resilience within me that holds and keeps me.

If you have the opportunity to participate in a privilege walk or the chance to really put yourself into perspective, then do it. Give yourself that gift. You need to understand that you truly are capable of anything in spite of your past or current situation. There is so much more that you can do that are beyond what you can even dream. Change your perception and then you can step forward.