A Creole Love Story…What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay There
In 2012, I was a struggling single mom raising two boys, 10 and 7. I was working two jobs, trying to be supermom and definitely not dating. I was 34 years old, divorced and okay with the fact that I would probably never get married again. I was over it and I found true contentment and happiness in the sweet, quiet life I had created for my boys and I. I wasn’t rich, I worried, I was tired one hundred percent of the time but I was happy. I felt like I had my cake and was eating it too in other words.
One of my jobs at the time was working with the Creole Heritage Center and we were getting ready to haul ourselves and all our gear to Las Vegas for the second Creole in Vegas conference. I was still creating my power points on the flight there, with two kids that had never flown before, my always entertaining Dad, my sister, my niece and her stepsister. Total chaos ensued, the point is that we got there. There were tons of people, I was running around like a psycho chicken with my head cut off. Per usual these events I had hugged and kissed approximately two hundred people by 12pm on the first full day of set up. My cousin Joseph asked me if the Antees had arrived yet. I gave him “the look” and said do you have any idea how many people I have met, remet and said hello too today? He gave me his “look” and said you would remember Richie Antee, he’s the tallest person you’ve ever met in real life. Eye roll from me, my brain was trying to remember all the presentations I needed to give the next morning.
Later that evening we are all at the first night mixer by the pool at the hotel. I go outside and make a few announcements in my classic, non-inside voice. I turn around and literally bump into…a belly button. Slow look up shows me a gorgeous man, dimples out of this world and the sweetest smile in the world. I told him, “I heard about you!”, he said, “I’ve heard about you.” I asked him if he was going to the dance we were hosting upstairs he said yes. Inside I had the quiver, holy crap, don’t be an idiot conversation with myself. I was also on ten, for me this means I was in my element, talking my head off to everybody, killing it with the one liners and being generally entertaining. This is important to note as I am either on 10 or 1, 1 is my totally introverted, no people please self.
We meet up upstairs, we talk, he’s single, 44, never been married and still smiling at me. I’m still melting all over the place. He asks if I would like a drink and start to walk to the bar. It is important to note at this point that a large contingency of my family was there. This could equal possible embarrassment from said contingency. This turned out to be a true statement. In the time it took to walk from one side of the room to the other we were stopped by first my father, who proceeded to tell him who he, his parents and grandparents were in true Creole fashion, thereby totally freaking him out. We were then stopped by my Uncle Steve who decided that five minutes after I meet this guy would be a great time to give him the stank eye and ask embarrassing questions. Then my mother, who then proceeded to again tell him who his parents and grandparents were further freaking him out and concluding with this statement, “Well you know your Uncle Arthur is his cousin.” He says my cousin Arthur? I say my Uncle Arthur? She smiles happily and says “Yes!” I hate everybody at this point. He’s in a mild panic that we’re related, I told him, “Look, we didn’t open Christmas presents together and I didn’t go to your 7thbirthday party boo, you’re fair game.” He then decided to freak out about our ten year age difference, I told him get over it. We danced, my family embarrassed me some more (a lot), a good time was had by all.
Much of the weekend was more of the same. Every second I had free we spent together, we talked for hours, he met the boys. I told him we were a buy one get two free special. He was agreeable. Most importantly though we were in the same place. We were each individually content, happy…we had our cake and were eating it too. We had similar goals, were raised the same and yes our family trees could not have been more intertwined and we loved it. There was no learning curve it was just comfortable. By the time Sunday rolled around and it was time to leave I told him we were going to get married. He smiled and kissed me.
Ten days later he flew out to Louisiana. It was an emotional, eye opening, sealing the deal type of trip. He hadn’t 
been “home” to Louisiana in over twenty years, he’s born and raised in Los Angeles and was still living there. But “home” is always Louisiana, Cane River, Cloutierville, it’s his family, it’s his mecca. I gave him the deluxe tour and we talked. We talked and talked and planned and dreamed. We met Mothers Day weekend in 2012, were engaged a few months later on Labor Day weekend and married the next year on November 2, 2013.
In our wedding vows I told him he was one of one people in the universe that could deal with me and I appreciated his patience and love. I had been told I was “too much”, too many times. I wanted to just be me and happy and when I was, “the one” magically appeared. When I stepped out of my comfort zone, he appeared. When I got right with myself, he appeared. When I quit dreaming about the perfect guy, a guy more perfect than I could have ever dreamed up on my own appeared.
The moral of this story is that yes I am extremely grateful and appreciative of this other human that chose to love me and my boys in the most visible and tangible way possible. The other part is that I now had data, one of the things that makes my heart sing. I had real, hard core data that said when you control what you can control and create a life that is purposeful and YOUR version of happy then other good things will follow. Karma and fate. I have zero doubt that his late father created a path for us to walk down. I also have zero doubt that we both had to go through the extreme pain we both experienced before meeting each other, the failures, the doubt and loneliness to truly appreciate each other.
Get right with you, you’re the only one that matters. And yes every single day when he walks in the door. Every. Single. Day. I still melt all over the floor.
