3 Ways to Answer “What are you?” Without Losing Your Mind
What are you? If I had a penny, not a quarter or a dollar, just a penny for how many times someone asked me that I’d be a rich woman. It wasn’t just a growing up thing it’s been a lifetime thing. I have always wondered what possesses people to open their mouth and just let that fall out. What happens in someones’ head? What are they thinking to then decide well now I am going to ask a question in the most direct and inappropriate way that could potentially offend someone. It’s intrusive and can come off sounding rude.
Why do people ask?
This is especially weird when you are having a conversation with one person or a group and someone asks, “what are you?” while the discussion was about the best place to go have dinner. According to Psychology Today the question asker can get preoccupied with figuring out a racially ambiguous person’s race. So the question then is why are we so committed to finding out? Being nosy, I mean curious can be a way of making the question asker comfortable. If I ask what their race is then I can assign my pre-determined stereotypes, biases and place them in the right box in my head. Normally, these things happen in milliseconds but when that person could possibly be racially ambiguous, oh boy we’ve got a winner.
This is why when I wrote the text for the “I Am Creole” design it was why I included the line, “ I am proud of my culture and I will not deny it to make you comfortable.” See how all that works there. I choose to identify culturally, because by not doing so I deny so much of who I am, where I came from and my ancestry. If I pick one race, then I could potentially deny those that made me whether they are black or white and that’s just something I’m not comfortable doing. I pay homage and respect to my ancestors and if I say I’m just this one thing it’s the equivalent of a slap in the face to an ancestor.
I know this may not be a popular subject or it could make you uncomfortable. But it’s gone on long enough and is a discussion that needs to be had.
3 ways to answer “What are you?” without rolling your eyes so hard you flip over backwards.
First, why does it matter? That’s the answer I gave my son Colson, 7th grade class when I was doing a demonstration on how to make file’. When I asked was there any questions, a bunch of hands shot in the air. I’m thinking wow my talk was great!
They didn’t pay attention to a word I said. First question, “Mrs. Tracey, what is Colson?” Cue me making a huge sigh, shoulders slump and my question right back. In addition, Colson was home sick that day so he wasn’t even there to answer for himself. Why does it matter? Confused faces all around. I then asked would my answer change how you feel about him? Are you going to not be his friend based on my answer? Why do you need to know? Shock and awe faces. So next time a “friend”, colleague or the UPS man (yes that really happened) asks my first response is “Why does it matter?”
Secondly, I’m freakin amazing? Spin it and say, “I’m so glad you asked I’m amazing and incredible and you?” I was walking through an airport one day and someone turned completely around to speed walk up to me and ask “Hey, what are you?” Seriously! So I gave my most dazzling smile and I said, “I’m freakin fabulous.” Then I speed walked away. I mean if someone is going to ask just be honest and say, “I am amazing, incredible, fabulous…” whatever sauce or swag you’re feeling should be the word that falls out of your mouth.
Third, I’m (fill in the blank). You don’t owe explanations or to give your whole family genealogy. You are unique and an individual. You are made from all of your ancestors that came before you. You are a perfect roux of all the cultures and traditions that are the foundation of your family.
So how do I answer?
Ultimately it’s up to you how or if you choose to answer. The right question for someone to ask would simply be, “Can you tell me more about yourself?” Just as you would ask anyone else.
Since I was a kid I’ve faced this question and dealt with the consequences of my answer, up to and including my hair getting cut on the bus one day on the way home from school. The UPS man story is real, he squinched his eyes together, cocked his head to the side and out fell, “What are you?” Sigh.
So here’s MY answer. I’m Creole. I’m African American. I’m French. I’m Native. I’m indigenous to this land. I’m a mixture of so many things that you have to scroll twice to see my whole Ancestry breakdown. I’m a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and a best friend. I’m a fundraiser, resource matchmaker, life coach, business owner, landlord and writer. I’m so many things and not just one thing and that’s ok.
